Pain for pleasure [The drunk stories thread, CONTRIBUTE!]

[DoctaD]

Yesterday was one of the best days I remember, in my lifetime. Clear sky, incredibly hot but not too humid... it was perfect.

It's not very often a day such as this comes along, so we had to do something to celebrate. After much deliberation we decided that cold Budweiser should be a factor in our plans, so we head to the off license, pleased with our decision.

On the way back we made the penultimate decision... we should sit on top of my mate's garage wall. Drinking in public is illegal and carries a hefty fine, but our method meant that we were officially on his property but still outside, and enjoying the view of everyone walking past.

So there was only one thing missing. Music.
We found a long extension lead and a CD player within about 5 minutes and then we were sorted. This was around 2.30pm. By 6pm we were pretty drunk, and had to go for more alcohol. Not a problem, off we went for alcohol and cigarettes. My younger brother tagged along, but it turned out alright as we got a 24 crate and he carried it the whole way back.

Next thing I know theres four of us sitting on the wall, drinking beer, listening to music. All of a sudden a beer starts rolling away! No-one's quite sure how, but I jump down and grab it. About half way down I thought to myself "what the fuck am I doing?!" but the alcohol killed the pain, and a few minutes later it didnt matter in the slightest.

So I wake up this morning. I can't walk. I'm incredibly sunburned. My wee finger on my right hand is incredibly sore from me and a mate swordfighting with bamboo. My ribs feel bruised on my right hand side from falling in the bathroom last weekend.

The point in this? Do you think I should stop drinking?

Did you seriously read all of that?

[C.R. Ripshit]

Lol, I read it all and yes, you should definitely not stop drinking. It's those kind of moments that makes drinking worth while.

[phoenix]

You got off light mate. It's only when you wake up at 7am, naked with new sheets on your bed, a bucket next to you and a black eye and broken toe, that you should consider laying off the booze.

Fortunately if you can master the art of denial you can laugh off any drunken incident the next day. You have much to look forward to. Keep up the good work.

[DoctaD]

I remember one day a few years ago...

Last thing I remember, it was 6.30pm and I was walking towards the bar... next thing I know Im laying on my mate's sofa, wearing different clothes. Oh, and it was 11.30pm.

No-one knows where I was or what I was doing for those 5 hours. Apparently I never came back from the bar. I had ~?300 in my wallet at 6.30, and at 11.30? What's a wallet? :P

Those were back in my young, stupid days... Im sure most eighteen year olds are the same.

[phoenix]

Heh. I was at the pub with some mates at around 12:30pm, drinking, playing pool, the usual. At 6ish they decided they'd had enough and offered me a lift home. I wasn't done partying though so I said goodbye and headed to the bar to chat with the old blokes.

I remember playing some quality pool against some maori but not much after that. Woke up at home the next day, went downstairs to find my car was missing.

Now, I had driven to the pub the day before but I can't say I remember driving home so I figure it's still at the pub. We drive down and lo and behold there's my car. Here's the confusing part. My wallet and car keys are inside the car. The car is locked.

If I got a cab home, how did I pay for it? Then I started getting flashbacks. I remember trying to get in the car then a bouncer walking towards me.

As far as we can tell the most likely explanation is I got turfed by the bouncer, headed to the car, bouncer suggests I don't drive and locks my keys in the car, calls me a cab and the pub paid for it.

I've got heaps of these kinds of stories. Hopefully other members will share similar tales so I don't feel like such an alcoholic.

[C.R. Ripshit]

Last monday night, got wasted off of jager. Its about midnight, last thing I remember im on my moped cruising through the neighbordood, next thing I know I am at my work in the parking lot chatting with my manager-type person. Don't remember how I got there. But he put my moped in the back of his van and gave me a ride home. :wink:

[torcher]

i have several stories...although its hard to remember them.

i was a at a party last january i think... it was outside...huge fire...loud country music..ya know...your stereotypical redneck party. but anyway...i went with a half of a fifth of jager...ended up being given half a pint of southern comfort...and lots of beer. so by 3 in the morning the fire is going out and im laying on the back of my truck sweating my ass off. remember its 3 in the morning in january..meaning its close to 20 degrees outside. laying on my truck sweating...a friend comes up to me...says "hey, Go the hell home." i get in my truck..go to leave, and cant start it, cant find the ignition, keys, or light switch. so the same guy that tells me to leave, who is also pretty drunk, offers to drive my truck home...this was fine with me. my house, from the party spot, is about 15 miles away. i evidently pass out as soon as i hit the passenger side...and wake up on my street asking him if we left the field yet.

it may not be as glamourous as some of the other stories but damnit. i live in a small town in the south.

[Adrian_Faythe]

Got really wasted on a New Year's. I believe it was...'03/'04. I took a line of five shots of Jack Daniels, washed it down with two Guinness, and chased that with some spiced rum. According to everyone else, I kept stealing other peoples' alcohol after that. Don't remember much, but apparently I sold some girl an empty bottle, hid a bowl of chips under a bed, nearly caught hypothermia because I wandered half-naked outside to puke, and woke up wearing my girlfriend-at-the-time's clothes.

Talk about waking up to a weird situation. "Honey, where's my...oh."

[DoctaD]

I think I posted this one on the dotcom. To this day, my brother still refers to the night in question as "The night you stole the plastic bag and piece of paper."

So around this time my head was well and truely fucked. I was going out with a girl I hated, but literally couldnt afford to dump her ass because I was living off her. From here on I'll refer to her as her I was only earning between ?300 and ?400 a month, and was spending that in a day, mostly on alcohol.

So it's just another day (a Sunday IIRC) at her house. Shortly after pay-day and I have ?30 left, pretty normal for the time. I'm supposed to be getting lifted at 7.30pm and it's around 5pm, so I tell her I'm going to meet up with my mates before I get lifted. I wasn't lying, I met up with my mates, there were about 15 of us that night, and we took up the large majority of the top floor of the local JD Witherspoons. I rang my mother and asked her to lift me at the pub rather than her house. This was around 6.30pm and I expected to be lifted in an hour's time, so I started drinking. The main difference between this night and most others is that all of us (I better emphasise that... ALL OF US) we're drinking through straws. Even some of the guys who usually stay sober (because they can't handle their drink) were drinking like the world was ending. After about fifteen minutes I started getting depressed at the idea of going home, but forgot about it shortly after when someone shouted "Shaun, d'ya want a drink?"

So I'm drinking my double brandy and white through two straws, and if you've never done this, it's like putting one of those carpet shampoo hoovers in your glass, set on suck. It dissappears almost instantly. At the time there was an offer on, ?2.69 (I think) for a double shot of any spirit, so within a short time I had finished the bottle of brandy. They didn't have another optic bottle but found a 10 glass (70cl, I think) and put it on the optic. Wasn't long until I had that one finished to. This was around 8pm, and I had totally forgot about my mother lifting me at 7.30pm, but she hadn't phoned so I had no reason to be waiting. Well, when I had finished the smaller bottle of brandy I had to start going downstairs for my drink, but they had very little left in the optic bottle down there and roughly when it finished, I had totally ran out of money. I went back upstairs and my mates started buying me double vodka and Red Bull.
(If I had been even slightly more sober, I would have told them where to stick their fuckin' Red Bull, I absolutely dispise the stuff, but seeing as I was wasted...)

I drank vodka and Red Bull until around 10.30pm, when my mother pulled up out front and rang me. When she rang, I got worried that she would smell drink off me so I grabbed my mate's two bottles of Bud and proceeded down the stairs. At the time, the fact that Budweiser is still alcohol never crossed my mind for a second. On the way out, the bouncer grabbed me and said I had to finish the drink before I left. A few seconds later I sprinted by him, shouting "Come get me ya fat bastard!"

So around 15 minutes later we arrive near our house. My brother and I get out at the pub while my mum drove on up home. I went to walk into the pub, but then realised I had no money. So I went into the car park, searching any car with the doors left open (more than you would think, in a small country pub car park) but all I could find was a plastic bag and a piece of paper... I had to stop drinking.

I later found out that one of the guys I mentioned earlier, who usually stays sober as he can't drink, was found crying in a phone box later that night. One of my best friend's also got into one of the ugliest girls I can think of. She makes the goatse dude look like a decent lay...

[gbu-36]

Heh, Drunk Stories, Oh gods I have a new one every week.

Best non incriminating one I can think of is this........

We had decided to try a new type of rum out, a rum called Sailor Jerrys Spiced Rum. Its higher proof than teh captains sorry ass and actually tastes quite good...
Anyways after my best friend and I where done with about half the bottle I guess I started whining that I wanted to light something on fire.........
Soooo my friend dissapears for how long and while he was doing gods knows what I started looking around for something to light on fire, then I saw it, the beautiful shining thing (well at the time it was)......

A can of pyrodex (powder for muzzle loading rifles/pistols)

So I decide Ill pour some in the sink and light it on fire, as Im about to light It my friend comes around the corner covered in water and starts yelling something at me. Well I light the pile of pyrodex, and before I have time to remember that its gonna burn the holy fuck out of my hand I notice this stinging sensation on my hand, and notice the entire house is full of DENSE smoke.

I casually glanced down at my hand and noticed it was a bit different looking than before, namely all red and painful looking. so yea

Anyways after a couple more dr. peppers and sailor jerrys I think I blacked out, Cause I woke up in the park next to my house with my hand all bandaged up and a bunch of bottle rockets in my purse *shrug*

Um yea, I make no sense and I ramble, But yea heheheeh ^-^

[DoctaD]

Are you sure you should be drinking at all, gbu?
:wink:

[gbu-36]

I have better stories =p but they are a bit incriminating AHehEHhhhehHEHehEh

Oh and yes, I should be drinking, This dog told me if I dont the french midget communist bondage clowns will get me

[Armalite]

Best one I can think of : End of school party my 5th year of high school(I was in high school for 6 fucking years) me and the whole class of Infinity High School(about 12 people that year) went to Julian's(Juliana, as I call him :wink: ) house, and as I was the only one with money, and had about 2 paychecks saved up(big ballin'), I busted out with 40ozers for everyone, 2 Mickey's each, 2 Steel Reserve High Gravities each, and as much of Nicole's sticky-icky(1/2lb.) as we could smoke. Out of a gasmask. Plus an assortment of Julian's SoCo, Hypnotiq, JD, cheap vodka, and some of my personal Jager stash. I remember getting drunk, then stoned, then hitting on Nicole(BOMBass chick) then stumbling to Anthony's car to go on a beer run with him. We ended up at some eastsider's house, drinking more beer. It gets hazy after that. I think we drove around for a while, hit a stop sign, and maybe got into a fight. Anyway, I woke up at the eastsider's house at 3am with no money, no cigarettes, and unexplained cuts and bruises. I didn't even know these fucking people. Stumbled out of the house, and ran into coke-head Nyle, who gave me a ride to my house. Later, he told me I reeked of meth. It's possible, as I twirled a lil back in those days. Anyway. Not much interesting happenings, just drinking to get drunk and hangin out with the fuckin cholo mother fuckers.

[Stone]

One night, after lot of pints I called to my friends gaff. We were the only two there and he started getting phonecalls from knackers (like the pikey's from snatch) threataning him. So... We got everything in the house that could possibly be used as weapons (ended up with 2 steak knives, a hammer and a screwdriver) and sat on the couch listening to music and waiting (they said they were gonna come to the house and kill him). We had over a half a bottle of vodka somebody had left in the gaff the night before (mixed with lemonade) and chugged it between us. We then opened the fresh bottle and took it slug for slug (alcohol + weapons = victory). Some friends came along to the gaff, and answered the phone and the pavi said they were near the gate and they had shotguns so my friends decided that me and my friend who owned the house should leave with them (me and my friend who owned the house decided we would stay and fight) but we were pretty much dragged out. My friend had turned the lights off before leaving and locked his keys in the gaff. I remember walking down the street with my friends and then ***blank***

I woke up the next day upstairs in the same gaff, and started walking down the stairs to find two of my friends ready to punce on my with a hammer and screwdriver and when the saw it was me, asked how the fuck I had gotten in. I had just woken up and had no memory of the night before. It just seemed like a normal day with a hangover. No windows or doors had been unlocked, there was only one key which had been inside the house (my friend had to go to his landlord to get a spare that morning). I put my hand in my pocket and had lost all my $$$, etc. I did find pieces of my mobile phone though (yeah, pieces!). Over the rest of the day memories started coming back (like going into a 'net cafe, sitting at a PC using it for about an hour, saying to my friend "watch me get a free PC and a free can of coke", then walked up to the fridge took a can and started walking to the door when the guy behind the desk told me I had to pay I said "Suck my dick Conor [cue the groin pumping action]" and walked out and got barred). Anyway, it turned out that I had went back to my friends place, kicked in the door (the latch was never quite the same after that) closed it and went up stairs to sleep...

[phoenix]

Some mates and I went camping over at Stradbroke Island for a few days. We had to stock up on alcohol before hand though as the prices of booze on the island are a total rip off.

I believe we had about 3 cartons of beer each for the boys and a buncha vodka cruisers for the girls. I wasn't sure if 3 cartons was enough for me so I also brought along a 1.25L bottle of vodka.

After fishing all day and drinking beers I decided to start smashing vodka and orange juice for the night. We sat around for a while discussing what to do tomorrow and then eventually people started getting tired. Not me unfortunatley.

They all go to sleep and leave me to my own devices. Not a real good idea since I'm about halfway through this vodka. I continue drilling this bottle while poking the fire now and then, enjoying the night.

Eventually I've finished the bottle and nature calls so I wander off to find the public toilet. On my way back I apparently lose my bearing and start accusing some people of moving my tent. These people are deaf.

I spend about 10 - 20 mins verbally abusing these people, and imitating their voices, about moving my tent and how rude they are to have done so etc. Soon enough some kids who knew where my tent was grabbed me and dragged me to it. They then told my mates who had gotten up over the comotion that I was "pretty drunk".

The next day the deaf people packed up but before they left I apologised for my behavior. They made fun of me for a bit which was nice. I went back to my camping spot and had breakfast beers. We sat around for most of the morning laughing at my alcoholism and how impressive it was to have drunk 1.25L of vodka on my own.

[madscientist]

We then opened the fresh bottle and took it slug for slug (alcohol + weapons = victory).

That's some of the funniest shit I've heard. :lol:

[Armalite]

Fuck yeah, fool.

[SilentOctober]

I've got a good one.
So one minuite youre drinkin on a half gallon of peppermint schnapps because everyone round's too much of a pansey to hit whiskey (so we settled for the mouthwash eh?) and snortin meth pills, makin a night of it, chillin with my best freidns and some of my closest friends and some random duesch bags and this gurlie I've got it bad for right. Well, everythings boiling down but i'm still gettin high, have one of those speeder moments when you want to tell someone everything you know, so I go to my best friends mom after he passes out cause she's up and I start talking to her only I'm drunk and buzzed up on some meth equivilent, next thing I fuckin know I'm throwing my best friend that i had been gettin drunk with the last night an intervention for his drinking problem. Call up a friend or two and she gets his uncle to come over, and I'm still hgih not to mention hungover, so I'm even a little into it. Now motherfucker doesn't drink or anything, and I don't think he needs to stop or anything. Hows that for a good morning. Hey, want some pizza? INTERVENTION. heh, that was this past sunday. crazy shit. I'd be pissed if it were me, but its not so i dont know if he's mad, but at this point, its at least a little funny.

[DoctaD]

I don't know what the fuck you just said!
-DD

[Houndish]

Time to catch up... let's make em short and sweet.

New Years '04. Went to Providence, RI with a buddy. Split a 5th of Vodka (dare me to drive?) on the way up. Went to a friends house and started drinking zinfandel and Harpoon I.P.A.s. Yelled at the fireworks with a fellow unseen drunk guy outside, went to piss on the other side of a small fence... facing the street. Fell coming back and busted my chin. Finished off the 3 6 packs of Harpoon at which point our host decided i was too drunk to drive and my buddy should get us home. (I was loud and obnoxious, my buddy was silent and sleepy who would you give the keys to?) Long story short I woke up with an oil slick under my car and in need of an $800 oil pan.

Summer '05. Got drunk at the beach... 15-20ish Bud Lights. Wandered off towards the water... passed out... came back an hour later covered in sand. My buddies were concerned but not enough to come look for me... they said i looked like a ghost coming out of the night and then saw the sand and laughed their asses off.

Summer '03. Drank a full bottle of Madeira cooking wine. Went home where the room was literally spinning. (A cool effect to this day I have been unable to recreate). Lied in my bed... incapacited and vomitted all over my sheets... I mean ALL over. I was too drunk to roll over never mind get up and go somewhere...

[Nox (ADVANCED)]

exp with me i had 2 6packs of VB 6 pack of Tooheys old about 7 shots of JD and Jim eatin raw patato playin knuckles while having some interesting rolled cigarets tasting weird open hand fights chase watermelon with 2 bottles of vodka in them 3 shots of jim WRASTLE WITH KAFFEE at 3am lose sulks hopes on motorbike remeber being on the road to mates house remeber crashing in to his house out of it than my mate findin me at maccas eatin in the next town,

an my bike was at cop shop with a hand writtin note saying sorry Toby i knocked over ur birdbath in scrawl

[gbu-36]

Yay! A new one!

Well to start off it wasnt just booze, but Ill get to that in a minute

Place: some Hotel, Las Vegas
Event: some convention


Well to start off I had been drinking/drugging all weekend, I had passed out and my honey woke me up with a white pill and 2 suger cubes. So I took them and Got dressed for the White Ball (Big rave/concert type thing). We leave and I grab a Shiner Bock to drink while I wait for the drugs to kick in. We go up to the Ballroom and the drugs still arent working. I decide maybe a redbull and vodka would help. 4 of these later, OH SHIT THE DRUGS ARE WORKING NOW. Im sitting there trying to still drink kinda just melt into the chair, The Lights come on in the ballroom after Regenerator's second song and one of the main staff for the convention comes in and Tells us to listen up, he informs us that Every SWAT team in the city of Las Vegas is on alert because of our convention and that the people 8 floors down are complaining about our music/antics. So the White Ball is over =(. Im rescued from the ballroom by a friend who tells me its time to go walking around the hotel to some of the parties that havent been shut down yet.

Well it turns out everyone in our group is tripping and Im Candyflipping/Drunk . We wander around to party after party all the time Im drinking more and more, And for some reason boys keep on giving me painkillers/xanax. I end up at a party of a group from near my area and finish off another 4 or 5 more vodka&redbulls. After this party (we are at about 4am now) we wander off, the first stuff I took is starting to fade a bit now. So we all go down to one of the hotel bars. After finding a guy we didnt even know to pick up our bar tab, More drinking (now capn and coke) I notice the people from regenerator are at the other end of the bar, I go down and harrass them for a bit (I guess I was either so nice or so annoying that they gave me a cd ), 300$ more booze between 5 of us people are starting to wander off, so a friend and I decide to wander across the street to the Slots of Fun for some cheap hot dogs and beer. We finally get there (GOD we we're soooo gone by then). We sit down at some nickle slot machines and put 5$ in each. I keep on hitting max bet and all of a sudden the machine starts making the most horrible sound in the world at me, I jump back in horror much to the amusement to the other people around then realize, IM A WINNER ! We decide to go back to the hotel and eat more suger cubes. We go back and eat the suger cubes and I let the one friend stay in my room when my honey shows up and we decide to go down to the pool to hang out on the last day of Defcon. Once again the acid is taking hold and Im not so drunk.

We get down to the pool carrying some vodka and squirt mixed togather to find all the normals are slowly being pushed out of the pool by the defcon people
After drinking a ton more and Me deciding I didnt need a bathing suit to swim Im now drunk again, and Hungry, still tripping, but drunk and hungry too, so we "borrow" a wheelchair we find by the pool and put one of our friends in it and wheel her into the food court of the casino (everyone is soaking dripping wet). Then after ordering our food we realize all anyone has is plastic, so the REALLY DRUNK girl in the wheel chair sends us to the atm, so we run through the casino soaking wet, dripping water all over the place barefoot when a security guard stops us and tells us we need shoes (no mention of why are you dripping pool water all over the place). I quickly explain we had to come to the atm to help our crippled friend (who can walk just fine when shes sober, but he doesnt know that). We get the money pay for the food and go back out to the pool where someone offers me a milk jug half full of bacardi 151 and rockstar energy drink and I somehow end up taking a couple adderalls.

3 hours later a big group of us decides its time for more food, In our drunken stuper we decide the Circus Circus buffet would be a good choice. We get there and get our food, but uh oh, I feel sick, so I find a planter in which to rid myself of my contents (somehow they didnt catch me) and go get more beer/food. We walk through the casino trying to get to the exit and OH god the acid/adderall was really hitting me by then. After trying to explain that we just needed to get back to the hotel to a couple people the nice security guards showed us the door and pointed across the street.

After this it all gets hazy I remember crying and puking in the hall and thinking that noone liked me, and then my honey and I and our friend from the wheelchair making out.


Moral of the story: Just because your at a lower altitude doesnt mean you can drink forever

[AionSan]

Drinking too much makes me dangerous :surprised

Last time i got really drunk i blew 10 gr of AP in a backalley at 3am, waking the fuck out of people and scaring residents so much 3 police cars arrived within 15 mins ^^

[blaksun]

once
i got drunk
and puked up chef boyardee.

>_<

[gbu-36]

OOOH Do I have a good new one.....


Well saturday night My honey and room mate where going to a rave, and I decided to stay at home and drink.

Well at like 6am they both come home and Ive nearly killed a bottle of whiskey. I WAS in a good happy drunk mood untill they tell me I should put some (any ) clothes on because theres an after party about to show up to me house.
Well about 10 people rolling on X show up and start annoying me (trying to give me hugs, talking to me, telling me I shouldnt have guns laying around while I drink) So I decide Ill play some music they wont like. After they retreat to my roomies room to listen to happy crappy music I went to work, I filled some vicks vapor rub cans with pepper spray and vicks, and left them in the bathroom where the Etards would see them, sprayed the door handles with pepper spray, rigged up the toilet seat with those lil pull string firecrackers and prolly some more stuff (Its all kinda blurry hehe)

But anyways after awhile I decide nothing fun has happened yet, so I put a string of firecrackers on a cigarette delay and went for a walk.

I havent gotten the details, but from what I understand I managed to kill like 8 peoples rolls =D.

[AnotherDamnNewbie]

Was walking along the side of a road with some friends, when a car sped past me and almost clipped me with its mirror. I shouted out at it, "DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!"

...And then immediately tripped over a drainage ditch and landed a faceplant right in the middle of the street. I still have the scars.

What's worse, is I'd only had about four beers by that point, so I can't even claim drunkenness as much of an excuse. Just clumsiness. Drinking the pain away over the rest of the night was fun though. :)

[Seol]

Lol at DD's posts.

I'm sure his wee bro could tell some stories, he's a mad bastard.

Drinking is definately brilliant though, I can't think of a story to tell because I haven't really drank this past 6 months so Can't think of anything at this time however I am getting into the routine again!

Need more stories itt.

[DoctaD]

Bump

[Esophagus]

One night somes friends and I went out to a party for this guy we hadn't seen i a while. I took half of a forty of absolut vodka, mixed it with a mickey of whiskey, and then some rum. Me and a friend took turns chugging until we had finished the entire bottle. Apparently after that I decided to walk to the liquor store (its very far away from there, and I have no idea where). Well I got down the street, saw a truck sticking out of a driveway. Instead of walking around it I yelled "YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP ME" and started crawling over top of it. Some of my friends found me, and one of them was sober, so we decided to drive to the liquor store. We bought a two six of vodka, and dtarted driving back. I was playing with her electric windows and singing to the radio, and she told me I was going to kill her battery. So we shut off her radio and rolled up the windows. "Can I sing?" "Sure." "ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT, GENTLY DOWN THE STREET." "You mean stream?" "Oh yeah. ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT. I don't know any songs." Then I woke up, and we were back at the party. Next thing I remember its the next afternoon, I'm on a couch, wearing someone elses coat, with my pants rolled up, andmy vodka all there but in a pepsi bottle. One of many stories.

[Monoxide Child]

well this happened while i was in school.

my mate and me used to get high and drunk every single day,and he had two identical bookbags(one he carried work in,the other he carried alchohol and drugs in).well one day he accidently brought the wrong bookbag into school.he pushed me into the bathroom and showed me,and said we needed to get rid of the evidence because we both got searched everyday(this was just after beginning period)so we each drank 10 of the small green heinikins,a big bottle of smirnoff ice vodka,and smoked an ounce of the finest weed right there in the bathroom.we walk out and weve done missed our first 2 classes,so we go to the rest and apparently i said some things that got me slapped by my then GF,which were overheard by a teacher so i got sent down to the office and my mates down there too,so were looken at each otherf and just burst out luaghen at the same time.the prinicipal goes "are you to high or drunks?"
my mate:no mahm.
me:im appalled you would suggest such a thing
Principal:well it seems like your drunk
Me and Mate:*laughing our asses off*
they send in the resource officers and search and find nothing so let us go just in time for school to end,so me and mate walk out and try to get up the steps but start trippen.

[REL0AD]

.<.Deleted in case of google search.>.

[torcher]

since i was just reminded about this tread...

i flipped my friend's car twice(?) friday night.. and all ive got is a monster bruise on my left knee and sore in several other places. *im drunk*

[Nemesix]

if you wake up in the middle of a forest, no one around, and a condom in your butt... i think thats probably a good time to quit drinking haha

[Esophagus]

if you wake up in the middle of a forest, no one around, and a condom in your butt... i think thats probably a good time to quit drinking hahaThat's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard.


That's right folks, I still troll sometimes.

[SilentOctober]

Well, there was this time, where I shared a half gallon of whiskey with a friend and got blackout drunk as shit, and appaerently went crazy. I even got drunk superpowers.
Well, First I grabbed a friend up by the throat, shoved a knife in his hand and told him to slit my throat, and then when that didn't work i chased some dude into the middle of a one way street after running shirtless out the door in the winter. its a one way street so when in the middle of there were cars passing by me on either side, and its a busy street so they were steady. So, applying drunk logic to the situation i started punching the cars as they passed. side view mirrors, windows, whatever, and i hit like every car that passed. naturally, some one called the police., who i weirded out because they saw this going on, raging, screaming punching. they hadn't even pulled me over or had the chance because when i saw them i walked up to the car and put my hand behind my head. they didn't say anything to me, and never even got out of the car until 5 minuites had passed and back up had arrived. i went unusually quietly. instead of taking me to jail they took me to the nearest hospital. after tyhey left i guess i got tired of being good. I started making a scene so they sent orderlies to strap me to a bed, but i didn't agree with that so i started fighting them as best i could, which, not drunk i wouldve been easily subdued by the two bigger men, but with my drunk superpowers they weren't shit, so another rolls up and they still can't get me down, im retard strong and whiskey crazy. so, after losing my fight to five orderlies i was strapped into a hospital bed...but still enhanced with the whiskey, i summoned the strength to break free of the leather straps, but the oderlies were still close by so i didn't get far.
Anyway, when I come to i am handcuyffed to the hospital bed waking up to a doctor with cold hands pulling my cathader out and telling my mother the story.

i hope no one experiences a hangover like what came after that.








not my craziest story.... but i like the superpowers part of it. you ever seen orderlies? they're huge.



p.s. i don't drink anymore really, just a few beers here and there after work.

[headcase]

I once drank twenty bottles of whiskey and beat up Chuck Liddel.

[Ginghugaganningap]

I even got drunk superpowers.

Eh.... vomiting?

[Nox (ADVANCED)]

Not just vomiting, Power Spu it can be sprayed up to 10 meters.