Scamula
23rd August 2005, 11:27 PM
Well, it?s called Peach Care where I am from which is a fancy smancy name for Medicaid. It has a different name for whatever state you?re in but it is all the same. A lot of people think that Medicaid is shit, but it is better than private insurance. There?s no co-pay and they pay for everything from hospitalization to birth control to glasses. Basically, you make up a social security number that is the same as yours but is different on the last four numbers. It is best to make it higher because the person is supposedly younger than you. Let?s say the last four of your social are 2149. Say that it is 3299 or something like that. Next, you make up a bullshit name (first, middle last). Next you make up a bullshit date of birth that will make you 18 or under because that kiddie Medicaid health insurance crap is only for people 18 and under.
Armed with this information, hit up http://www.insurekidsnow.gov/ and click on your state and follow the directions on how to apply for Medicaid or the low cost insurance. Read up on the lowest income levels that you need to qualify and come up with a salary amount lower than that. Simply go to office depot and steal a book of generic receipt slips (small businesses use these sometimes to keep records) and say that you?re a babysitter and that?s the record of your pay. Fill out the receipt slips with a bullshit amount like $100 a week and sign it with the name of the person who is supposedly paying you and date them for the dates that you were supposed paid (every 1 or two weeks) until you have 5 or 6 slips. Always have your pay below what the level should be for your state so you can qualify. Apply either online or by mail and mail them the bullshit receipts as income verification. It is always way easier if there are no parents in the picture. Say that they?re dead, you?re an emancipated minor or they?ve abandoned you or something like that on the application. I said that my dad didn?t give a shit, my mom was dead and I lived with my *sister*.
Then sit back and chill. They said that I didn?t qualify for the low cost insurance because my *income* was too low (which was exactly what I had intended for it to be) and they would now use the same application to see if I qualified for Medicaid and I did. They sent me a blue and white card and then a month later, they sent me an HMO card. The HMO is just how you receive your benefits. The brands of HMOs that you can choose from depend on your state. In my state, we have Anthem, Optima, Aetna and another one but I forgot the name.
You just use the card to get whatever care you need. Nowadays, when you go to the doctor, they ask you for an ID the first time for all of that privacy act shit. To get around this, I simply copied my school Id on a color copier. Then I typed up my fake Medicaid name on a colored sheet of paper and cut it out and pasted it over my real name. Then I copied it, glue it to an index card for weight, cut it out and laminated it at the aforementioned Office Depot. They doctors just take this ID and say nothing. All they want is their money. The ID is a formality. Even if I presented them an ID on notebook paper, I don?t think they would care.
Here are some tips. The cutoff age for free for all Medicaid is 19, so make your person a good ways younger than that so you won?t waste your time. Don?t go applying for someone who is like 4 months from being 19 because the cutoff is right around the corner. Oh and don?t go to health care people who know your real name. Like don?t go rolling into some doctor who has known you since you were knee high to a cockroach and go claiming to be Brian Wilson when he knows that you?re Richard Green.
A lot of people think that Medicaid is low class, but it really is better than regular insurance. They send you bus tickets or else they send a cab to pick you up to take to your appointments. They pay for prescriptions. They give you whatever you really need?for the extras like specialty tinted lenses on eyeglasses you?ll just have to pay the $14 or whatever. But, there are sometimes ways to bullshit that as well if you lie to your doctor and tell him your eyes are real sensitive to light. Don?t hesitate to bullshit doctors. They are your best friends. They will file all sorts of shits to your insurance that isn?t medically necessary if you pretend you really need it and pretend to be more fucked up than you really are. That?s how I got them to pay for my Zyrtec by bullshitting than Claritin wasn?t working at all and it made me feel like I was going to pass out (it didn?t do me that bad, but it did not work all that well for me either). They filed a claim and they insurance paid for it because it was ?medically necessary?. Tee hee.
Armed with this information, hit up http://www.insurekidsnow.gov/ and click on your state and follow the directions on how to apply for Medicaid or the low cost insurance. Read up on the lowest income levels that you need to qualify and come up with a salary amount lower than that. Simply go to office depot and steal a book of generic receipt slips (small businesses use these sometimes to keep records) and say that you?re a babysitter and that?s the record of your pay. Fill out the receipt slips with a bullshit amount like $100 a week and sign it with the name of the person who is supposedly paying you and date them for the dates that you were supposed paid (every 1 or two weeks) until you have 5 or 6 slips. Always have your pay below what the level should be for your state so you can qualify. Apply either online or by mail and mail them the bullshit receipts as income verification. It is always way easier if there are no parents in the picture. Say that they?re dead, you?re an emancipated minor or they?ve abandoned you or something like that on the application. I said that my dad didn?t give a shit, my mom was dead and I lived with my *sister*.
Then sit back and chill. They said that I didn?t qualify for the low cost insurance because my *income* was too low (which was exactly what I had intended for it to be) and they would now use the same application to see if I qualified for Medicaid and I did. They sent me a blue and white card and then a month later, they sent me an HMO card. The HMO is just how you receive your benefits. The brands of HMOs that you can choose from depend on your state. In my state, we have Anthem, Optima, Aetna and another one but I forgot the name.
You just use the card to get whatever care you need. Nowadays, when you go to the doctor, they ask you for an ID the first time for all of that privacy act shit. To get around this, I simply copied my school Id on a color copier. Then I typed up my fake Medicaid name on a colored sheet of paper and cut it out and pasted it over my real name. Then I copied it, glue it to an index card for weight, cut it out and laminated it at the aforementioned Office Depot. They doctors just take this ID and say nothing. All they want is their money. The ID is a formality. Even if I presented them an ID on notebook paper, I don?t think they would care.
Here are some tips. The cutoff age for free for all Medicaid is 19, so make your person a good ways younger than that so you won?t waste your time. Don?t go applying for someone who is like 4 months from being 19 because the cutoff is right around the corner. Oh and don?t go to health care people who know your real name. Like don?t go rolling into some doctor who has known you since you were knee high to a cockroach and go claiming to be Brian Wilson when he knows that you?re Richard Green.
A lot of people think that Medicaid is low class, but it really is better than regular insurance. They send you bus tickets or else they send a cab to pick you up to take to your appointments. They pay for prescriptions. They give you whatever you really need?for the extras like specialty tinted lenses on eyeglasses you?ll just have to pay the $14 or whatever. But, there are sometimes ways to bullshit that as well if you lie to your doctor and tell him your eyes are real sensitive to light. Don?t hesitate to bullshit doctors. They are your best friends. They will file all sorts of shits to your insurance that isn?t medically necessary if you pretend you really need it and pretend to be more fucked up than you really are. That?s how I got them to pay for my Zyrtec by bullshitting than Claritin wasn?t working at all and it made me feel like I was going to pass out (it didn?t do me that bad, but it did not work all that well for me either). They filed a claim and they insurance paid for it because it was ?medically necessary?. Tee hee.