Drug Tests

[Nox (ADVANCED)]

hey guys im looking to go for a job that i know i will get but it requires a Drug test. now i have been smoking pot contiously even before i joined so yer thats like 6 cones aday of pretty highgrade pot. now my question is how is the fastest,cheapest and best way to clear out ones system of the wonderful THC?

[Stone]

I have heard that drinking shitloads of cranberry juice for a week flushes your system but I have absolutely no evidence that it will work.

[ComfortablyNumb]

I have heard that drinking shitloads of cranberry juice for a week flushes your system but I have absolutely no evidence that it will work.

Nope, sorry, there is no real way to "flush" the THC out of your system as it is stored in your fat cells (find a way and you'll be a millionaire b/c itll also be a fat-burning pill). What you can do, however, is try drinking shitloads of water (like 1.5 gallons+ per day) for a few days before the test. What this does is it dilutes your urine, and since they need a certain amount of the THC metabolite to be present in the piss (I think its like 50 micrograms, but i could be wrong). Now, you cant just drink a lot of water b/c they will catch on when they notice that its clear, so you also take a bunch of multi-vitamins along with the water. Make sure the vitamin contains a lot of vitamin B-12 which will make your piss yellow, the other vitamins will help to make your piss appear undiluted, but the B-12 is imporatant for the visual effect. Now, this has worked for me, but I cannot guarantee you that it will work. The best way to actually get it out of your system is to stop smoking and exercise a lot- but hey, we're potheads right? whats the fun in that.

[Nox (ADVANCED)]

hey i stumbled across this WEBSITE (http://www.isellpot.ws/Marijuana/howtopas.htm) looks like i got a bit of a read ahead of me.

[Stone]

Maybe the cranberry juice has the same effect as the water but also gives the piss the colour? I dunno, I never had to do a test so never tried it. I heard it from a guy who had to do a test for a job and he said it worked.

[ComfortablyNumb]

yeah, cranberry juice would be a good substitue for water-as it is a diuretic and will induce urination more quickly/often than water (like coffee and alcohol), though it wont really change the color of your piss (hell, i drink a shitload of that stuff everday jsut bc i like it- so trust me on that). As for it working to get him through the test, it was probably just the dilution- I mean, not all drug testing places will notice if your piss is off-color, especially if the test is done by the employer and not by some third-party company that gets paid specifically to administer these tests to people. And they most definately wont notice that the vitamin levels arent just right if theyre not a third party. I guess it all depends on what kind of test you are given and by whom.

[SayItAintSo014]

You can buy over the counter pills that'll clean your system out.

[Jarmungand]

asdf

[Nemesix]

Now, you cant just drink a lot of water b/c they will catch on when they notice that its clear, so you also take a bunch of multi-vitamins along with the water. Make sure the vitamin contains a lot of vitamin B-12 which will make your piss yellow

Best source of B12, is energy drinks i believe? i looked at a can of Spike which i drink all the time and it contains 25,000% of your daily B12 per serving. The Spike Shotgun cans contain 33,000% of your daily percentage of B12. Now with this being said...

I need to pass a drug test on January 27th. It is not positive i will be drug tested, but my lawyer said it is a possibility (it is traffic court, but had a lot of bud in the car). So now its time for me to research before i ask anything from you.

"While NORML strongly opposes drug use on the job, we think no one should be forced to submit to urine testing, especially for marijuana. Aside from launching a legal challenge, your best defense against urine testing is to be clean. Unfortunately, this may be difficult since urine tests may detect marijuana 1-5 days after an occasional use, 1-3 weeks in regular users, and 4-6 weeks in multiple daily users. Since urine tests do not detect the psychoactive ingredient of marijuana, THC, but rather other, nonactive metabolites, they in no way measure impairment; nonetheless, this fact is of no account to employers in today's anti-drug hysteria. If you are on the job market, it is prudent to expect being tested and avoid marijuana. However, recognizing that many of you may face drug testing on short notice, we offer the following advice for emergencies with our best wishes (but no promises!)."

Definitely good to know. For the past 2 weeks i have smoked about a 2 bowls out of a bong every day (small amount each time), and on some nights i would smoke a blunt with a few people. I would say that im a regular user...

"WASH YOURSELF OUT: The general strategy for passing urine tests is to increase your fluid intake and urine flow so as to dilute the concentration of drugs in the sample below the threshold of detection."

Looks like everything is a myth regarding "get clean quick" scams. Detox may work but i wouldn't want to blow 35 bucks on something that isnt even a guarantee.

Anyone know how i can pass this drug test but still smoke? im thinking if i cut down to smoking 1 blunt a week, and drinking a lot of water i would be ok. (excluding the weekend before my test) so that would be about 9 days before my last blunt... hmmm...

[Nox (ADVANCED)]

Take a berrocca to keep ya urine that bright colour and drink shit load of water to dilute your sample.

[icharianchem]

psyllium husks are cheap and readily available at heathfood stores. Goldenseal is a good blood cleanser and Kombucha and cranberry juice help flush you out as well

[Nemesix]

Unfortunately nearly every website i saw including NORML says that herbal remedies are myths and do not work, and cranberry juice is a mere myth as well. I can definitely see this as being true for both, as if they really worked, they would be readily available and known.

[icharianchem]

the s\things i mentioned are used for detox treatments, i assumed it would help with drug tests to. Got me through a years probation with flying colours. And i think my contributions to the this forum rule out the idea that did not do drugs.. ya kno

[Nox (ADVANCED)]

THC IS STORED IN FATCELLS

Meaning you have to get rid/burn/use the fat that its located in.

[.VX]

They don't test for THC.

[malefic internicine]

certain diet pills help pass drug tests.
of course mass water consumption and exercise are needed along with them to pass the test with in a reasonable amount of time from the date you smoked the marijuana.

[Nox (ADVANCED)]

They don't test for THC.

Forgot about reading that.

[Acid44]

an hour or two before the test chug a shitload of vinigar, then in your car outside or w/e squit some vinigar up ito your, uhh... doo dad... sounds painful, but aperently it works...

[Th0r]

Changing the acidity of your piss?

[XnbX]

Changing the acidity of your piss?

It indeed al about "your" piss. But what if you put a little bag with a small tube in your pants? The bag needs to be filled by someone drug free like your baby brother or what ever. Than use their pee for the drug test. This will only work if your future employee grants you any privacy during the "peeing" process.

[icharianchem]

if you're gonna do that you might as well get a wizzinator. Except the guys who made it are on trial now ....

[Nemesix]

hahaha, fuck squirting vinegar up it. i would rather fail any drug test then do that. i think im going to just get some detox pills to flush out my system.

Anyone know if they're allowed to drugtest in traffic court? it has been months since i was actually pulled over, so its not like they are trying to find out if i was DUI. the tickets i had were improper lane use, and obstructed windshield. The drug charges still havnt been brought up against me.

[Nemesix]

Damn already been 4 days sober thatve sucked and gone by really slow. If its just traffic court for improper lane use and obstructed windshield what are the chances i will be tested for drugs when it all happened about 4 months ago?

I really need some answers here. i want to smoke this weekend, and do shrooms or some acid :/ . otherwise i have to just do the shrooms or acid.

[RoundElephant]

Damn already been 4 days sober thatve sucked and gone by really slow. If its just traffic court for improper lane use and obstructed windshield what are the chances i will be tested for drugs when it all happened about 4 months ago?

I really need some answers here. i want to smoke this weekend, and do shrooms or some acid :/ . otherwise i have to just do the shrooms or acid.

You DEFINATELY WON'T be tested for LSD. Getting tested for shrooms is also very unlikely. Both only stay in you system for a couple days and the tests are expensive so they almost never use those. You probably won't be drug tested unless you were pulled over for a drug related reason. My friend ran a stop sign and wasn't tested at all, he just had to show up for court and take the plea bargain (1/2 of the points deducted would be forgiven).

[Heavy_'TalMeMan]

It depends on which method they use to drug test you.


They could use your hair for the examination, in which case you'll have to buy a hair cleansing agent shampoo. If you do make sure that you scrub your scalp and base hair vigorously where the test is most likely to detect THC. Take a bath with the shampoo a few hours before the test, and don't get yourself all sweaty beforehand or else chances are you'll get fucked.

If it's the regular piss test then you'll have to obtain a clean urine sample. Try the synthetic urine you can order from the net. You'll have to find a way to try and keep the urine sample at body temperature because the docs might find it a little strange that your urine isn't hot.

All those home remedies don't work, however it WAS featured a few years ago in High Times that a biochemical compound called papain in moderate doses, could reduce THC concentration in the body as much as 50 percent.

I personally haven't tried using that method, but if you're really interested then papain is concentrated in papaya fruit, particularly the green, raw fruit.

Good luck.

[Nemesix]

2 things to consider

1. I was pulled over, and i had drugs and was arrested. i wasnt given a ticket for a DUI though
2. I have a lawyer

[RoundElephant]

2 things to consider

1. I was pulled over, and i had drugs and was arrested. i wasnt given a ticket for a DUI though
2. I have a lawyer

Just stick to shrooms and acid for the rest of the month to be sure.

[alexdelarge]

THC stays in your system varying from 3-10 days. Plan accordingly.

I got an e-book on drug tests, if anyone wants it, PM me.

[Th0r]

How about upload your eBook and post it in the eBooks thread in the Nonnormative Economics board?

[Nox (ADVANCED)]

THC stays in your system varying from 3-10 days. Plan accordingly.

I got an e-book on drug tests, if anyone wants it, PM me.

Read OP, regular smoker so its going to satay there for a month atleast.

[icharianchem]

pretty sure its up to a month but usually between 3- 10 days. NIDA backs me up

[redjoker]

Either do what you have to to clean up or find somebody who is clean and that is willing to piss for you. You'd be surprised how many people will suddenly piss everywhere for cash. Then just freeze a shit ton of samples so you don't have to worry collecting on such short notice again.

[death11284]

I'm sorry redjoker but that's fucking ridiculous. Have you never had a drug test or something? Whether it's the company OR a private organization they will ask you to remove any jackets etc, and to turn your pockets inside out and place your items in a cabinet...

My advice is to try stinger bee, here in Texas it's around $20-25 so it's not too expensive. You just have to be sober 2 days prior, take it approximately 30 minutes before you go to the bathroom, it's worked more than once for me.

[Mr.A]

I have heard of many meathods and considering my employer drops on a regular basis with many employees I have looked into many meathods.

THC from the last time you took the initial dose of it will be gone from your system within thirty days. There are many variables (of course) that affect the length of time as to which you will actually be all in the clear. Weight, height and your own unique metabolism are three very big factors. Your weight and height because the bigger you are, especially if most of your size is fat, it will take longer for you "clean yourself out." Aforementiond, THC is fat soluable and also hangs around inside of our own bodies in our fat cells. Meaning, if you have a lot more fat cells in your body than the average person, then you will take longer to test negative than the average person. Your metabolism is a critical element in this, specifically at how well your kidneys and liver function, since they filter almost all liquids in the body. Good ol' H2O will help speed up this process because it will make your kidneys and liver filter more. Thusly, helping your body remove some of that wonderfully toxic substance.

Alot of products are out there. Some will help detoxify your body, some others will help you mask the THC. Problem being with a lot of these products is that your urin will come out diluted and you will be asked to take the test again, again and again until you pass. Some of mentioned already B-12. I've heard excellent sources tell me that B-12 does help put the "color" back into your piss. Also, multivitamins.

Your best bet is to quit for a month, pass the test and get your business out of the way so you can get back to enjoying the things you love doing.

Hope this helps, this is all of course only IMO an in no way should be taken as fact.

[redjoker]

I'm sorry redjoker but that's fucking ridiculous. Have you never had a drug test or something? Whether it's the company OR a private organization they will ask you to remove any jackets etc, and to turn your pockets inside out and place your items in a cabinet...

You aren't very creative are you... This is the method used by the majority of drug users I know. They take a balloon or a normal condom, fill it with clean piss, and tuck it under their nut sack. Then they take a needle and pop it while they're taking a piss. Most of the places people go to get drug tested don't stare at your dick when you're pissing. Even if they are there are still ways around it. There was actually a fake dick you could buy with synthetic urine but the company got destroyed but lawsuits and other things. You could easily recreate the product.

[Mr.A]

You aren't very creative are you... This is the method used by the majority of drug users I know. They take a balloon or a normal condom, fill it with clean piss, and tuck it under their nut sack. Then they take a needle and pop it while they're taking a piss. Most of the places people go to get drug tested don't stare at your dick when you're pissing. Even if they are there are still ways around it. There was actually a fake dick you could buy with synthetic urine but the company got destroyed but lawsuits and other things. You could easily recreate the product.

I second this. Although the whizzinator has been phased out, I don't see why one couldn't make a homade one with ease. Just as a side note, needles and other small sharp objects can easily be hidden in bandaids. :privateey

Even the men who must watch usually don't keep a very focused eye on the male member. They don't want to feel like homosexuals themselves.

[MrMinister]

I had a wizzinator, but never used it. Red is right you could easily reproduce it, prolly for under 10+cost of dildo.

I never knew they got destroyed by lawsuits thats fucked up, real fucked up. I'm sure lawyers much smarter than I tried defending but I would have thought if it was because of intended use they could counter with saying it's a "safe beginners golden shower toy" to simulate golden showers.

I've heard the balloon/condom method, don't like it (though never tried it, just scares me). I am a huge fan of the small hotel shampoo bottle tucked between nuts and leg. I tried a baby bottle the first time taped to my leg and realized once inside the tape made alot of noise. Long story short, I ended up up on my fucking back on the ground with my legs in the air to make the bottle pount "down" and got some of grammas piss on me. After that I tried other shit, but ended with the small bottle just held by balls and leg, works like a fucking charm, no sound at all.

As far as probation piss testing where the POs looking at your dick, wizzinator would be ideal. You could still get away with a bottle if you played it smooth(once your dick is out the officer usually turns away for a moment).

[.VX]

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/10148347

Fingerprints Can Now Reveal Drug Use.

[Th0r]

Inevitably LE authorities will misuse the ability to reveal the presence of not just several relatively mainstream drugs but GFR [Gun Fire Residue] and explosives residue. Currently UK Police are regularly carrying out searches in all major transport zones of innocent people in order to avoid being hailed as racists for not searching the real threats to stability.

Imagine what they could do. Take a DNA sample, analyse your fingerprints and take the fingerprints expanding the existing large DNA database! And imagine what they'd do if you objected. Several years ago I was in Dover waiting to get on a ferry. They did the routine sweep the drivers wheel to us and most of the other cars. A guy mildly objects and what a surprise... His car steering wheel allegedly shows a positive for a residue. Him and his family are hauled in to a private garage only to be searched and delayed.

The same principal could be applied with fingerprint analysis in my opinion.