So I'm gonna give the rest a rest and... umm rest?

[DoctaD]

Nah, I wont rest... I'm just gonna troll my own forum for a while seeing as I have trolled others for most of the day and ooh look im still typing and i have also decided to do away with punctuation and grammar and probably spelling by the time i am finished the longest scentence in europe although it wont actually be in europe once i send it cos i think our servers are in ghay america where all the lesbians go to douche after fisting with a gypsy tarmacadam layer's glove on... fuck, Ive started punctuating again! Call the anti-grammar cops to come take me away! Then call the carriage return cops for the... well, lack of a carriage return...

Yeah, so...

Whats up with everyone? Whats the story? Whats goin' on? Whats the craic? Hows it goin?

Me? Oh, thanks for asking... I'm fine thanks, Shaun... and how are you? Yeah, Im pretty much the same. Sucks having identical split personalities at times.

So... this girl. I guess I gotta talk about her. Sure, I could get arrested or shot but she's mature enough, as far as I can see (physically and mentally) and she's fuckin' smokin' hot! Like, way out of my league. She's probably the second fittest girl Ive pulled but she's gotta have the best body. I'm all proud of myself... so much so that Im drinking to celebrate the occasion!

So I guess Ill go ahead and drink more as I have typed this really fast, ya know the way Jim Carey types in Bruce Almighty except mines real and his is ghay camera tricks which allows him to type fast with one hand while he drinks but i wouldnt be able to do that because Id only be typing on one side of the keyboard because of a serious lack of a left hand, which would maybe then try to type with a beer tin in it and get beer all over my keyboard and so far it has only survived semen so I dont honestly know if I could handle beer... and it could even be pregnant, and pregnant keyboards shouldnt consume alcohol!

See?

[torcher]

are you sure you werent fucked up when you met her? beer goggles are hell, let me tell ya!

[C'tair]

Haha, so funny. Beer unites people, unites their ideas. Why do girls, beer and lust link so well? Why do you lust for a girl, want to hold her, want to please her, help her, touch her, bearthe her, yet usually get turned off or put into the friend zone, then you drink, because it offers the wonderfull void of forgetfullness, your thoughts are able to roam free, and you just push that matter as one of the other life-long matters that will plague you until you probably die, never knowing, never sharing, never tasting true love, the moment when you can not only trust the other person, but lay down your life for her, and she for you, because your life doesnt matter without her life, as does her without yours. Whew, that was a long sentence.
Anyways, I probably know how you feel. Or I think so, its hard to convey the exact train of thought through a mere phsycal object such as a keyboard and a bunch of words. Aight.
So you wanna know whats up? Whats goin on? Hows it goin?
Ah well crap, might as well tell ya, train my fingers and all, train my english a bit too.
Yeah, I got a guitar, a Stagg, a mere stratocaster clone worth around 100$USD, but thats all I could afford, even after three or four months of saving up. Yeah, this is my fourth day with it, and Im learin' alright. ANd Im also training my drawing skills when Im bored in class, wasting all that good and free education normal mortal tax payers are throwing out for everybody able minded. And damnit, cause of my school, i gotta pick a life way soon, whether Im gonna go for stuff like networks or maybe something related to art or something, I just dunno yet. Its too damn early and I got maybe one more month to choose. Sucks.
Other then that Im pretty much ok, have the usuall girl problems, I like a girl, girl likes me but I dunno if im just a friend for her or somethin', still sucks cause I love being around her, helping her out with stuff and doing "good" stuff for her. And Im thinking of starting smoking, just to get used to it so I dont cought up when I will need to "make some new friends" with a smoke in hand, ya know. I predict that I wont have a problem with loosing the smokes after I get used to inhaling the stuff into my lungs. Just like I had with alcohol. Haha, a few months of heavy drinking (beer, wine, vodka, or the three mixed together which usually lead me to puking, but a quickie drunkard), a few months of total dry mouth and now, a few beers, a smoke and TOO much thoughts and time on my hand. Why yes, I could leanr or stuff, but I dont want to. Although I will work out a bit in like 20-30 minutes, do some body weight stuff like pushups and pullups since I really need it (6'2", 145pounds yeehaw bitches). And the usual family problems, divorce and the long story that goes with it.
K, im done bitching.
If any one reads through that then I will ekiss his big, mutated sixth toe (anyone remember fallout 2?).
KThxBai

[DoctaD]

Heh, so I created this thread eight days ago.

That girl was hard work... well, she still is. She's just a mate, though. I have a girlfriend now, as of a few days ago. I'm happy.

c'tair... starting to smoke so you can socialise with smokers is one of the weirdest ideas Ive ever heard. I have little problem with my non-smoking mates complaining about me smoking around them... I'm used to it. The last thing I would want is for them to start because of me!

[DoctaD]

I just noticed I have 777 posts! For some reason, that has lightened the mood more than I expected.

So... Im pissed.

I posted this on S&A, my home away from home.


I'm not stoned, but either the ganja has delivered a nice constant state of paranoia or my intuition is kicking in, making me really fucking angry.

So my mate rings me around 11pm asking if I was in the car with my girlfriend, as he is absolutely wasted and about 5 miles from home, walking in the rain. I told him she had just finished work and was coming to see me soon, but I could get him a lift or a taxi, no problem. He told me it doesn't matter, he'll walk.

So about 20 minutes later, I wonder why my girlfriend hasnt phoned or sent me a text message, as she always does after work. I ring her and she informs me she is on her way out to collect my mate!

He fuckin' turned down my help, just to then phone my girlfriend and ask her!

So it's ten to midnight now, Ive drank 5 beer in the past 15 minutes, and Im ready to break...

Oh, I forgot. I rang him when I was off the phone to her and he has turned off his phone.

Now all I can think of is that she is cheating on me with him. I can't exactly ring her again, though. She told me she would ring me, and I dont want to look like an obsessive freak.

...but the paranoia is really getting to me. If she doesnt ring me soon, I think Im gonna break someone. I don't even care who...

Just thought I would blog here too.

[Seol]

I think you need a hug =/

[S25]

I know the feeling, A constant state of paranoia and I don't even do drugs or drink...
Think of it as a good thing natures way of making you elite!

[DoctaD]

Heh, I get pissed off and randomly blog on the 'net then minutes later everything is fine and I dont go near the computer for days.

[Seol]

DD is an emo kid, lol.

[C'tair]

I know it may sound wierd. And here I am again, high on 1$ wine, turned up winamp and my amp to 50%, put on some Vader and yeah, rorta pain-in-the-ass-blog thread again. Woohoo.
So, smoking to be more social, not to smoke all the time, but to be able to smoke in any case. Had the same go with drinking. This summer. It all started. And it was downhill from then. But I drink only when on parties. Or when my thoughts try to race my finger on the keyboard of life. Damn. Social, haha. My minds racing, why? The all so well known teen cruch stuff, when you think youre old and mature, but somewhere in the back you know your just a 16 yo kid, turning 17 soon. Even after thinking critically, read about that, its on totse in the text archives somewhere. I just cant assess wtf is goin' on. This is where the long story starts, so if dont wanna waste time then dont read it.
Hard to tell if she just wants be friends, Id like something more, or atleast to be a good friend. She's hot enough. She has no problems. Maybe I dont too, but Im a bit to non-conformist for people to like me. Nah, not angsty teen, just I think about things before accepting them, makes me seem like some smarty ass dipshit. Especially when I prove people wrong. So yeah, I dunno whats the likes of her trying to do with me, and I aint doin' much stuff, I play cool to it. But once in a while its her that starts the convo, its her to ask something of me. That made me addicted to her, her being both pretty, damn smart and also partially non-conformist. At once time, a week ago I thought I left it, just gave up on it, but now she left for london for a week and somehow for some reason I miss her. And dont know what. And thats got me some insomania maybe? Cant fall asleep, wake up a few times a night. Dunno. Sucks.
End of long, teeny, stupid love story.
So anyways, other stuff. Huh, looking to get drunk, not to puke or to forget that night, but to just get drunk enough and be able to play cool through the night. Haha, if you want some adventures then drink vodka and beer, w/o any uhm "zapoja", meaning another drink like juice. And w/o snacks. Then smoke some MJ and cigs. Whoa, that gives a kick, sadly, a kick to the toilet to puke, puke, puke...
Again, anyways, I know that kind of paranoia. Oh boy, sure I do! Read somewhere that its just your insecurity. That youre jealous because you think you might loose her. Yeah...
This applies to me. Since Im acting all so friendly, but she is just damn friendly. No, not a slut, or atleast I dont think so. But it so fucking hurts when she gives stares to some of my friends. Rargh. Dunno, I just dunno.
Ah yeah, Dream Theater. Yeah, you might've guessed it. Im slowly coming down. Next will probably be some nightwish, then some metallica, especially the sad songs like no leaf clover and other stuff, then g'n'r, then muse. And then I go eat some chocolate and go to sleep.
Haha, what a phat phuck! Nah, im 6'2" and around 145 pounds. Bones and skin. Gotta work on that. To be able to help her, where the she is not yet known.
Too many unknowns, too many possibilites, too little hope.
Ok, ok. Ill end my ranting here. And I hope it all works out for you buddy.