SWIM is losing her touch

[Scamula]

Okay here's the deal. SWIM was once a very prolific shoplifter. In fact SWIM has stolen everthing from underwear to blenders to CDs to sneakers. But lately, SWIM just doesn't seem to "have it" like she used to. SWIM must be getting scared in her old age or something because she just isn't the way she used to be. SWIM misses shoplifting but now she can't even do the push out without getting cold feet. What's wrong with SWIM? SWIM can do white collar um, activities just fine but SWIM is really losing her touch when it comes to her former favorite pastime. SWIM wants the good ol' days to come back...the days when she was wild and free and fearless in the aisles of Target and Kohls. What can SWIM do to get her groove back?

Even if you don't have any suggestions, it feels good to vent. On behalf of SWIM of course :biggrin:

[odin_dax]

Okay here's the deal. SWIM was once a very prolific shoplifter. In fact SWIM has stolen everthing from underwear to blenders to CDs to sneakers. But lately, SWIM just doesn't seem to "have it" like she used to. SWIM must be getting scared in her old age or something because she just isn't the way she used to be. SWIM misses shoplifting but now she can't even do the push out without getting cold feet. What's wrong with SWIM? SWIM can do white collar um, activities just fine but SWIM is really losing her touch when it comes to her former favorite pastime. SWIM wants the good ol' days to come back...the days when she was wild and free and fearless in the aisles of Target and Kohls. What can SWIM do to get her groove back?

Even if you don't have any suggestions, it feels good to vent. On behalf of SWIM of course :biggrin:

You sound like 'TheGrifsta" from CM.

[Scamula]

You sound like 'TheGrifsta" from CM.

I have no idea who "TheGriftsta" is or what CM is.

[blaksun]

smoke crack more.

talk to a shrink.

what the hell, there's nothing you can do.
i used to steal a fuck lot, but then i just got tired of it, so i stopped. recently, i saw this awesome hoodie and i was so going to yoink it, but i almost had a stroke.

maybe you stopped for a while? just keep it up, and eventually it'll come back!

if this was a movie or a sitcom, you'd go steal a car or rob a bank or something to kick yourself of the doldrums.

[Scamula]

Blaksun, this is actually some pretty good advice. SWIM uses no recreational pharmaceuticals because she needs a clear head so smoking crack is out of the question.

SWIM did stop stealing for awhile because her other schemes were paying off and she had stolen up enough stuff to last her for awhile. But, now SWIM's list of things she needs is growing and she must strike again and soon. Here's her shopping list so far:

1. Unscented Baby Wipes
2. Paper plates and utensils
3. talc free baby powder
4. Smart Balance Light spread (it's better than Country Crock)
5. Shower Caps
6. Vitamins
7. Lotion
8. Claritin D
9. Cold Medicines (just in case)
10. Toothpaste
11. Q-tips
12. Frozen Dinners
13. Soy Milk


Looking at the stuff on the list, I'd say it's best to hit a grocery store tommorow with the pushout. I know SWIM is crazy for actually making a "booster's list" but organization helps in this. SWIM will be oh so pissed if she actually pulls this off only to find out that she's forgotton the q-tips! :aargh4: Ah, yes SWIM is back. This thread has helped her you know. Maybe dr. phil is right....sometimes you just gotta express yourself.

And SWIM had stopped stealing for awhile so you're right blaksun, she probably did get out of the swing of things. I'll advise SWIM to take your advice (just start stealing again and the groove will return!).

And bank robbery and car theft? Hmmm. don't tempt SWIM. :biggrin:

[odin_dax]

Blaksun, this is actually some pretty good advice. SWIM uses no recreational pharmaceuticals because she needs a clear head so smoking crack is out of the question.

SWIM did stop stealing for awhile because her other schemes were paying off and she had stolen up enough stuff to last her for awhile. But, now SWIM's list of things she needs is growing and she must strike again and soon. Here's her shopping list so far:

1. Unscented Baby Wipes
2. Paper plates and utensils
3. talc free baby powder
4. Smart Balance Light spread (it's better than Country Crock)
5. Shower Caps
6. Vitamins
7. Lotion
8. Claritin D
9. Cold Medicines (just in case)
10. Toothpaste
11. Q-tips
12. Frozen Dinners
13. Soy Milk


Looking at the stuff on the list, I'd say it's best to hit a grocery store tommorow with the pushout. I know SWIM is crazy for actually making a "booster's list" but organization helps in this. SWIM will be oh so pissed if she actually pulls this off only to find out that she's forgotton the q-tips! :aargh4: Ah, yes SWIM is back. This thread has helped her you know. Maybe dr. phil is right....sometimes you just gotta express yourself.

And SWIM had stopped stealing for awhile so you're right blaksun, she probably did get out of the swing of things. I'll advise SWIM to take your advice (just start stealing again and the groove will return!).

And bank robbery and car theft? Hmmm. don't tempt SWIM. :biggrin:

Getting an honest job and paying for the stuff would be better.

[crzydan81]

r u kidding? how damn poor are you? and how will you walk out with all that? and just get food stamps.

[Scamula]

r u kidding? how damn poor are you? and how will you walk out with all that? and just get food stamps.

I'm partly joking. The list was meant for laughs. But if you want to know how to walk out with all of that stuff, just do the pushout. Shoplifting is not that difficult. The hardest part is getting the balls to pull it off.

[Scamula]

Getting an honest job and paying for the stuff would be better.

1. If you were so interested in "honest jobs" then you wouldn't be in the "scams and crime" section.
2. You obviously haven't ready my siggy. That spells out my thoughts about the whole economic system and of course its accompanying "jobs".

[crzydan81]

scamula. Sorry I came of a bit rude. i was more or less joking. Anyway. what is the pushout?

[Jarmungand]

asdf

[Scamula]

scamula. Sorry I came of a bit rude. i was more or less joking. Anyway. what is the pushout?

No hard feelings. :veryhappy

The pushout is when you fill up a cart with the merchandise that you'd like to steal. Arrange it in your card so that it is flat as possible. Then find a blind spot and cover the mound in your cart with a jacket or coat or store circulars or whatever else you have on you. Then just slink out of the store as if you are a normal shopper just leaving the building. In a busy enough store, you'll likely never get noticed. You can add an old receipt to the game as well. Just act like you've just left the checkout lane and are reading over your "receipt" to make sure you weren't overcharged as u r leaving the store. This all adds to the illusion that you're not a thief. The pushout is best for grocery stores. I used to do it all the time in Walmart until they got all hardkore on the booster. Be sure you have something to bag your loot up with when u get out in the parking lot. I save old walmart or target bags for this. I also use Dillard's and Macy's mall shopping bags but they're better for hauling away soft lightweight things like clothes.

[Scamula]

The pushout is when you just load up a cart with what you want and push it out the door. Hence "pushout".

Scamula go for it. From that other thread I'm pretty sure you've done worse..why the sudden coldfeet now?

By the way awesome quote.

-j

I did go for it yesterday. And it was good. :laugh: Oh boy was it good.

I have done worse but I have a theory on the cold feet thing...it was because I hadn't done it in awhile. My other *stuff* had paid off so well that I didn't need to for a long time. It was almost like I was a shoplifting virgin once again, spoiled and softened by the white collar "activities" that I was scared to do something whereby I could get caught redhanded and not be able to hide behind the anonymonity of the white collar "endeavors".
I got sick of saying "SWIM" and covering my tracks. :oops: oh well. Fuck you cops! Yeah! I wanna gloat tonight!
And thanks for the compliment on my quote. :wink:

[Jarmungand]

asdf

[Scamula]

On an unrelated note...is the people's pharmacy where you sell some of that stuff you lift or what?

Oh yes, I'd almost forgotton about that. I'll have to take that out of my profile. You see the People's Pharmacy was an actual mail order pharmacy that sold actual prescription drugs at a cut rate (with your doctor's approval of course :biggrin:). However, that kinda sorta had to end for legal purposes.

[blaksun]

cold medicine more like cough syrup for gettin high m i rite.

i don't like this pushout idea. i'm sure it works, but me, usually i just fill up a couple shopping bags from the store and walk out with those. it's less obtrusive than a whole cart.

i know it sounds ridiculous, just filling carts and bags full of shit and walking out with them, but it's actually kind of depressing how easily it works.

[Scamula]

cold medicine more like cough syrup for gettin high m i rite.

i don't like this pushout idea. i'm sure it works, but me, usually i just fill up a couple shopping bags from the store and walk out with those. it's less obtrusive than a whole cart.

i know it sounds ridiculous, just filling carts and bags full of shit and walking out with them, but it's actually kind of depressing how easily it works.

Actually it really was for cold medicine.Scamula likes to keep a clear head.

Anyhoo, you're right. The pushout can be a bit obtrusive...which is why it works best in certain types of stores and during busier times. Sometimes when I needed fewer items and I'd rather not haul out the cart, I use your method.

[Jarmungand]

asdf

[Scamula]

How did the mail order work? Did you make much?

It's funny how every once in a while on the news you'll see a program about thieves / criminals "exposed," and it's always something that's been going on for such a long time but all of a sudden it's news. On the one hand it cracks me up, but on the other it kinda pisses me off that their ruining it by telling the secret to whatever poor fucks still watch the news. I was just thinking about it 'cause I'm pretty sure I saw the pushout / shoplifting techniques on their once...just curious what you all think.

-j

I made an ok amount of money but for the legal implications it wasn't worth it and I just stopped before I got shut down. :cop:

Yeah, it's hilarious how "normal" people come into the crime scene all late thinking that stuff we've been doing since we were 11 is news. :tired:

I haven't specifically seen the pushout thing on the news or a news program but I have seen those shoplifter's exposed things like on Ricki Lake and stuff. Pretty funny.

[Scamula]

Oh yes, the olden days!

I decided to bump this thread just for s&gs.

Yeah, I got over my silly little phobia.

[headcase]

You obviously haven't ready my siggy. That spells out my thoughts about the whole economic system and of course its accompanying "jobs".

"When that ass gets to jiggling , motherfucking wiggling"

Ah, now I get it.










(???)

[Esophagus]

Scam's sig has changed since then. Personally I prefered the old one over "Bubba Sparxx". Thats just musical preference though. =o

[headcase]

Yeah I figured that. I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to point it out though.

[Scamula]

Ah, now I get it.










(???)

yes my siggy has changed.