Nox (ADVANCED)
30th March 2007, 01:08 AM
Here is a recipe for orange pruno.
What you need
* Ten oranges.
* 240mL of fruit cocktail. (Eight fluid ounces)
* Forty to sixty sugar packs(teaspoon)
* 500mL of water. (Sixteen fluid ounces)
* A big plastic bag that can be sealed. Garbagebags and rubber bands are totally cool.
* Some Tomato sauce.
* A towel.
Method
STEP ONE -- PEEL, SMASH AND HEAT.
REMEMBER TO FEEL THE HATE.
1. Toss the oranges into the Ziploc bag.
2. Pour the fruit cocktail and dump it into the bag, along with your own emotional cocktail of nihilism, depression and crippling boredom.
3. Mash them furiously, feeling the anger of being unjustly sentenced to hellish bourgeois existence of cable television and suburban shopping malls.
You now have a big bag of gushy fruit. In order to take that fruit to the next level, you're going to need to heat it up to get the process going. But prison cells aren't outfitted like home, so you're going to use hot water to warm the bag enough to get it up. to snuff.
DROWNING YOUR SORROWS.
1. Go run the hot water in your bathtub.
2. Now that the fruit has been beaten to a pulp, throw in 500mL (sixteen ounces) of water and mingle together. Double check that Ziploc seal to ensure you don't spill orange goo all over the place. As the water begins to steam, allow the sneaking feeling that you'll never amount to anything run down your spine.
3. Place the bag under the tap for 15 minutes to heat it up.
BE PATIENT AND SLIGHTLY PARANOID.
1. You will now have a large, ominous Ziploc bag of warm crap.
2. Take the pruno, tenderly, like a proud parent of a newborn and wrap it in a towel, so it can stay warm and speed along the fermentation process.
3. Stash "Baby Pruno" extremely well, so none of the authority figures in your life will start asking questions and have to be shanked later on. Once your bag of festering fruit is hidden, wait 48 hours while constantly paranoid someone will find your pruno and steal it. Accuse everyone. Refuse to sleep.
STEP TWO: A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR.
After 48 hours of sitting in a warm place, that bag of mashed fruit will attempt to become a crud-filled beach ball, as the gases released from the start of the fermentation process swell the plastic bag.
Once the bag is opened, you'll immediately smell something yeasty and foul. This smell is a good thing. It means you're ready to feed your pruno.
To speed along the fermentation and also to impart a better taste, you're going to have to add something sweet to the mix.
1. This means it's Tomato sauce and sugar time! After you've raided the local Burger King,
2. add two big old squirts of tomato sauce
3. and 50 sugar cubes. Swish around the tomato sauce and sugar a bit, which will give the pruno a reddish tint, then go run that hot water. Stinky Baby Pruno needs a bath. Real bad.
4. Instead of 15, run the pulp under the faucet for a full 30 minutes to ensure the sugar is fully absorbed into the fermenting fruit juice.
5. After heating the bag, wrap it up again you will need a bigger towel
6. Remember this image, for it is the last time you'll see Baby for three days.
STEP THREE: RINSE, LATHER, HEAT, REPEAT.
With the sugar feeding the fermentation process, Baby Pruno will continue to give off gas as alcohol is produced. Make sure to keep a close eye on Baby Pruno, because if you're not careful, the bag holding Baby Pruno will pop, letting nasty orange pulp and mushy fruit cocktail seep all over the place. This happened when we were making pruno and the apartment smelled like Newark for three days.
Now that everything's together, all you have to do is wait, heating the bag up under hot water for 15 minutes once a day for the next three days. Once you're done with this last push, the pruno is "ready" to drink.
THE HOME STRETCH
The last three days of pruno making are not very strenuous, but in the spirit of providing complete, easy-to-follow directions,
1. Heat the bag.
2. Wait a day.
3. Heat the bag.
4. Wait a day.
5. Heat the bag.
6. Wait a day.
http://www.blacktable.com/images/0309pics/pruno/prunarcal.gif
STEP FOUR: CUT THE CRAP, LEAVE THE JUICE.
All of the hard work is just about finished now and rivers of illicit prison hooch await you. The final step merely involves separating the rotting fruit from the quasi-alcoholic juice.
1. After a week's worth of being heated up and wrapped in a towel, your pruno will be a mushy bag of fruit glop.
2. Spoon out the fruit mash, leaving behind only the liquid.
3. Use a strainer to get the rest of the fruit matter.
4. Without the fruit you will have enough pruno left over to fill about two pint glasses.
Pruno does, in fact, seem to have some kind of alcoholic content. An odd burning sensation accompanies the first sip and the liquid gives off the tell-tale stink of booze goodness.
What you need
* Ten oranges.
* 240mL of fruit cocktail. (Eight fluid ounces)
* Forty to sixty sugar packs(teaspoon)
* 500mL of water. (Sixteen fluid ounces)
* A big plastic bag that can be sealed. Garbagebags and rubber bands are totally cool.
* Some Tomato sauce.
* A towel.
Method
STEP ONE -- PEEL, SMASH AND HEAT.
REMEMBER TO FEEL THE HATE.
1. Toss the oranges into the Ziploc bag.
2. Pour the fruit cocktail and dump it into the bag, along with your own emotional cocktail of nihilism, depression and crippling boredom.
3. Mash them furiously, feeling the anger of being unjustly sentenced to hellish bourgeois existence of cable television and suburban shopping malls.
You now have a big bag of gushy fruit. In order to take that fruit to the next level, you're going to need to heat it up to get the process going. But prison cells aren't outfitted like home, so you're going to use hot water to warm the bag enough to get it up. to snuff.
DROWNING YOUR SORROWS.
1. Go run the hot water in your bathtub.
2. Now that the fruit has been beaten to a pulp, throw in 500mL (sixteen ounces) of water and mingle together. Double check that Ziploc seal to ensure you don't spill orange goo all over the place. As the water begins to steam, allow the sneaking feeling that you'll never amount to anything run down your spine.
3. Place the bag under the tap for 15 minutes to heat it up.
BE PATIENT AND SLIGHTLY PARANOID.
1. You will now have a large, ominous Ziploc bag of warm crap.
2. Take the pruno, tenderly, like a proud parent of a newborn and wrap it in a towel, so it can stay warm and speed along the fermentation process.
3. Stash "Baby Pruno" extremely well, so none of the authority figures in your life will start asking questions and have to be shanked later on. Once your bag of festering fruit is hidden, wait 48 hours while constantly paranoid someone will find your pruno and steal it. Accuse everyone. Refuse to sleep.
STEP TWO: A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR.
After 48 hours of sitting in a warm place, that bag of mashed fruit will attempt to become a crud-filled beach ball, as the gases released from the start of the fermentation process swell the plastic bag.
Once the bag is opened, you'll immediately smell something yeasty and foul. This smell is a good thing. It means you're ready to feed your pruno.
To speed along the fermentation and also to impart a better taste, you're going to have to add something sweet to the mix.
1. This means it's Tomato sauce and sugar time! After you've raided the local Burger King,
2. add two big old squirts of tomato sauce
3. and 50 sugar cubes. Swish around the tomato sauce and sugar a bit, which will give the pruno a reddish tint, then go run that hot water. Stinky Baby Pruno needs a bath. Real bad.
4. Instead of 15, run the pulp under the faucet for a full 30 minutes to ensure the sugar is fully absorbed into the fermenting fruit juice.
5. After heating the bag, wrap it up again you will need a bigger towel
6. Remember this image, for it is the last time you'll see Baby for three days.
STEP THREE: RINSE, LATHER, HEAT, REPEAT.
With the sugar feeding the fermentation process, Baby Pruno will continue to give off gas as alcohol is produced. Make sure to keep a close eye on Baby Pruno, because if you're not careful, the bag holding Baby Pruno will pop, letting nasty orange pulp and mushy fruit cocktail seep all over the place. This happened when we were making pruno and the apartment smelled like Newark for three days.
Now that everything's together, all you have to do is wait, heating the bag up under hot water for 15 minutes once a day for the next three days. Once you're done with this last push, the pruno is "ready" to drink.
THE HOME STRETCH
The last three days of pruno making are not very strenuous, but in the spirit of providing complete, easy-to-follow directions,
1. Heat the bag.
2. Wait a day.
3. Heat the bag.
4. Wait a day.
5. Heat the bag.
6. Wait a day.
http://www.blacktable.com/images/0309pics/pruno/prunarcal.gif
STEP FOUR: CUT THE CRAP, LEAVE THE JUICE.
All of the hard work is just about finished now and rivers of illicit prison hooch await you. The final step merely involves separating the rotting fruit from the quasi-alcoholic juice.
1. After a week's worth of being heated up and wrapped in a towel, your pruno will be a mushy bag of fruit glop.
2. Spoon out the fruit mash, leaving behind only the liquid.
3. Use a strainer to get the rest of the fruit matter.
4. Without the fruit you will have enough pruno left over to fill about two pint glasses.
Pruno does, in fact, seem to have some kind of alcoholic content. An odd burning sensation accompanies the first sip and the liquid gives off the tell-tale stink of booze goodness.